by Arlene
There is no easy way to say this, but I don’t like chocolate biscuits. I like chocolate. I also like biscuits. I just don’t like both of them together.
I have tried to explain this lots of times to lots of different people, and I know that it will sound odd, but bear with me. The best way I can explain it, is that I like my sweet foods to be simple and uncomplicated.
I often excuse myself from offerings of biscuits and cake by saying that I don’t have a sweet tooth. This isn’t actually true. I can, … ahem … have, … ahem … do, drink condensed milk straight from the tin. Remember, I’m Scottish, so I as far as I am concerned a bar of tablet* and a packet of Haribos are basically milk and fruit. What I don’t like is when there are so many competing flavours, that it becomes overwhelming.
Cake
Cake is nice. Why put so much butter cream icing on top that it doubles in size, and makes you feel sick just looking at it? More is not better. I end up scraping away all the frills to get to the actual cake, and am often disappointed that it is dry and tasteless. I would rather have a nice, simple cake, well made, and appreciate it for the flavour it has.
Chocolate
I like chocolate. Milk chocolate or dark, (white chocolate isn’t chocolate – white chocolate is chocolate flavoured fat, and I won’t have anything to do with it, sorry), can be perfection. Comforting and indulgent all at the same time. Why spoil it by addling flavours? Especially overly sweet, artifical fruit flavour. Sadly, a box of chocolates contains few things I like. By the time I discount all the fruit creams, and the white fat, there isn’t much left. More than half the chocolates end up in the bin.
Biscuits
Biscuits are great. They are little energy filled delights. Easy to eat, easy to store, and perfect with a cup of tea. I can see why you might want to add some chocolate to a biscuit, but like most things, it all goes too far. Chocolate, caramel, icing, sandwich cream, chocolate chips (nothing, nothing is ever made better by the addition of chocolate chips), it goes on and on, flavour on top of flavour until you have no idea what you are tasting. Can I just have a digestive please?
Tea
I told you it was odd. I should also tell you that I’m not a dunker. I don’t dunk my biscuits in my tea. I don’t want either tea flavoured biscuits, or biscuit flavoured tea (no, I haven’t tried Biscuit Brew, and I’m not going to).
My children completely disagree and think I’m weird. More is better as far as they are concerned. Bring on the icing, sprinkles, chocolate chips, caramel and anything else you can think of, and pile them on top of whatever biscuit, chocolate bar or cake is available. But offer them a tin of condensed milk……
*Tablet is like a harder, but crumbly version of fudge. It’s lovely.
Mainly Witterings 