by Arlene
Today I tried bubble tea for the first time. I have often seen pictures of other peoples’ bubble tea, mainly on my Facebook group, Rate My Tea. This is a group where you post pictures of your cup of tea, giving details on brand, steeping time, sugar and whether the milk went in first (MIF), or last (MIL).
Often there is an aside about the cup or mug, and the snack which accompanies the tea, but purists keep the group on track if this gets out of hand. Tea is a serious business. I should say now that I, correctly, drink my breakfast tea with milk (MIL) and no sugar. MIL prevents accidental over-milking, the kiss of death to a nice strong cuppa, and no sugar because I’m not a child. I also enjoy a cup of Darjeeling and Earl Grey, both with no milk because I’m not a monster.
My cuppa, my choice.
I can drink most tea though, made most ways. Fruit, mint, chamomile, white, jasmine, you name it, I have probably drunk it. Not bubble tea though. This is for two main reasons. Firstly, I have never lived anywhere near a place that makes and serves bubble tea, and secondly, I’m not sure I think it’s a good idea.
Bubble Tea
The first problem has been recently removed with the opening of a Bubble Tea Bar a mere 6 miles from where I live. I say recently, it was actually a few months ago, but with this Covid thing going on, I haven’t visited before now.
The second problem is trickier to handle. I don’t like sweet drinks, and even the briefest of internet searches told me that bubble tea is essentially liquid sugar. It also kept referring to it as a ‘tea-based drink’. Never a good sign. Still, it has tea in it, and I’m a big tea fan, so I’m prepared to look beyond those small problems. The bigger problem is that it contains tapioca.
Tapioca
As a Scottish child of the 70’s, brought up on regional council school dinners, I am very familiar with tapioca, semolina and sago, and I can testify here and now that they are all utterly repulsive to me. I’m am still haunted by the sight of tapioca, quivering and gelatinous in the dish, garnished with a lump of over stewed prunes. It is the stuff that nightmares are born from, possibly literally.
You learnt early on in your school life to eat the pudding first, in the hope that it was still slightly warm, since the only thing worse than warm slime pudding, was cold slime pudding. Also, once you had eaten it, you had cold, over boiled carrots and potatoes to look forward to, which would at least take the taste way.
So, did I want to drink something which I knew would be sweet, have little tea content, and contain possibly the worst starch based substance known to a 40 something woman? No. And yet, a mere two hours ago, I found myself clutching an iced matcha bubble tea.
Matcha Green Tea
I drink green tea quite a lot. I don’t like it, but I do drink it. I have the same attitude to green tea that I have to bananas. Both are horrible, but both are good for me, so I consume them anyway. In fact, because I don’t like them, I am sure that they are probably doing me even more good, because I’m not enjoying them. Anything you hate that much has to be good for you, right? I’m sure that’s how it works.
As far as I am concerned, green tea tastes like fish tank water (don’t ask me how I know that, I just do, and it just does), so matcha green tea, because of the powdery texture tastes like the stuff you get at the bottom of fish tanks (honestly, you can just take my word on this). But it’s tea, and it’s good for me, so I drink it.
Matcha bubble tea is a mix of matcha powder, milk, sugar and tapioca pearls, served in this instance, iced. It is, to a point, edible. That point is swiftly reached when the tapioca arrives.
Drunk with a large straw, the individual tapioca pearls come shooting up into your ill prepared mouth to ruin any taste party you were trying to have. Chewy, slimy and just a bit gaggy, they brought back all the historical horrors of school lunches in one slurp. Combine that with the taste of sweetened fish tank water, and it would take a strong woman to finish that drink.
Luckily, I am that strong woman. Hey, it cost £3.20. I’m not made of money.
Fruit Bubble Tea
Now, don’t let my opinion put you off. My kids opted for fruit juice teas, with popping boba pearls, and although they were both tooth dissolving sweet, they were nice, (not nice enough for either of them to actually finish drinking them of course) and the popping pearls were fun.
This particular bubble tea was not for me. I doubt that any tea which has tapioca added to it will be my cup of tea, literally and metaphorically. I will keep drinking green tea, and matcha tea, and all sorts of other kinds of tea (and the occasional coffee – don’t tell the Rate My Tea group), but bubble tea is not for me.
I could do a whole post about the horrors of school puddings – tapioca and prunes, semolina and jam, sponge and pink custard, but honestly, I don’t want to frighten you. I liked the stewed prunes. Still do.
Mainly Witterings 